I've always been quite in touch with my emotions. I really resented a guy who suggested once that my inablity to squelch my feelings was a sign of emotional immaturity. I beg to differ. Those who push their emotions down in an effort to present an "appropriate" face to the world are not allowing themselves to experience the full glory and agony of being human. Now, I'm not suggesting that we let it all go without editing ourselves. But I don't think that wearing your heart on your sleeve is a character flaw. At all.
One of my favorite movies of all time is Sense and Sensibility. Kate Winslet plays Marianne, the hopeless romantic who loves and feels with reckless abandon. Conversely, her sister Elinor, played by Emma Thompson, values propriety to such an extreme that she nearly denies herself her soulmate. In the end both come to realize that dignity and emotion are equally necessary and healthy.
This has been a rather emotional week for me, as it has been for a lot of us. Though our parents didn't allow us to watch "Charlie's Angels" (sorry, M & D, but we did sneak it on when you were at choir sometimes), I always considered Farrah Fawcett to be such a gorgeous creature, a true California beauty. Her struggle with cancer has been well-publicized, and her bravery in the face of overwhelming odds will be her lasting legacy.
And then there's Michael. His death really hit me hard. I know that nothing changes because of it...I can still listen to his music and appreciate his genius. And yeah, he was an odd one. And possibly was guilty of some yukky things. I'm not excusing it, but that's not what I'll remember about him. Maybe it's just about a part of my life ending. The author of the soundtrack of my formative years is gone.
So I'm gonna watch the retrospectives and let myself be melancholy for awhile. And I'm not gonna apologize for how I feel.